I have officially been kicked out of a high school basketball game for the first time in my ENTIRE life! I'm so totally embarassed by the whole situation. I've debated about blogging about everything. I feel bad that I let the girls on my team down, our school now has a "bad image" so to speak, not necessarily from my actions specifically but because of the ENTIRE situation in general involving parents, girls, everything! I feel bad about it! The only reason I'm recounting it is, 1) so I can send it to Ashley on her mission (I sure do miss coaching with her! She would have appreciated the RIDICULOUSNESS of the situation), I'm sure she will find some humor in it, even though I did NOT! and 2) This being my journal so to speak, I guess I'll recount the events for posterity sake! :) Sadly, there's not even a real exciting story to go along with it! No throwing chairs, hitting somebody, not even yelling and screaming at the refs, nothing! Apparently... I was NOT sitting on the bench. In fact, to be honest, I don't even know if that was even the real reason? I'm not quite sure what the reason was at all!
A little background shall we... (granted this is from my point of view, and also getting the perspective from players/parents afterwards).
Earlier in the night during the JV game, I felt like I was yelling at the officials a little more than I normally did. I got a little upset at one point, because one of our girls fouled out (for the MILLIONTH time this season... Aliza!). :) I really didn't think it was a foul, but she ALOT of the time is at the wrong place at the wrong time, or bailing someone else out for getting beat on defense! And I was a little upset. Anyways... so starting the sophomore game, I was like okay! Be a little more calm! Don't freak out! Just coach! I thought I did a pretty good job of it. Compared to how I had been earlier, I was BEYOND calm.
So... the last part that I can remember... because it was like a freaking snowball effect, and everything went spiraling out of control in like 10 seconds! We're up by 4 with 2 minutes left in the game, we have the ball, and we waste quiet a bit of time off the clock, (no shot clock in Utah, HORRIBLE! Hate it. But that can be a blog post for another day!) so we're playing the stalling game, working the ball around. The other coach is YELLING "foul, foul, foul" and their girls are fouling our girl and they're not calling anything. So I say, "Their coach is telling them to foul, call the foul!" And so referee "A" (as I'll call him in this story), says, "Coach, that's enough sit down." I'm standing there just staring at him, and he's like "Get on the bench." At which point I go to the bench, sit down, and am just shaking my head! WHAT?! This is the first encounter of the night, it's not like I had been screaming or yelling previously? Okay. I'll sit down!
Game progresses, and we're still up by 4. Only like 50 seconds left now, and they call a foul on who? Who else... Aliza?! At which point I am standing up again, looking down the bench, deciding who to put in the game knowing it's her 5th foul! And looking on the court like, GREAT! So the referees have a conference, and referee "B" comes over to me, and he's like coach you need to be sitting down? And I'm like, I can't talk to my players? He's like you need to be sitting down, and that's five fouls on 21. I'm like so can I decide who I can put in the game? Am I allowed to talk to my team? He's like sit down and give me a sub. I'm like speechless. So, I sit down, put in a sub!
In the mean time, their coach is standing up and saying something, and our parents/fans, behind us, start freaking out and yelling at the ref to tell the other coach to sit down then. They're screaming, "Why don't you tell her to sit down." And things along those lines. Everyone is confused as to why I have to remain sitting? I'm quite confused myself. It would have been understandable if I had been going ballistic or something and he was sick of hearing from me and so he was like SIT DOWN! But this was NOT the case! Remember my goal to make an extra effort in this game!
So anyways, in the mean time, while the parents/fans are yelling, Referee "A" points a couple people out in the crowd and is like do you want to leave? And is like signaling for them to leave. Then decides he's had enough apparently, and gives a technical foul to the CROWD! My question to him was, "How do you even know if they're our fans?" (okay... so kind of smart... but really? I didn't think you normally gave technical fouls to the crowd, and if that is the case it is because people are throwing things onto the floor, etc. But even then it doesn't happen hardly ever!)
SIDENOTE: come to find out after doing a little research, our head coach found out that someone on OUR bench said something, which I don't know what that was, but the technical foul was on the BENCH and not the crowd!
SO....back to the game! They are NOW shooting, the 2 techincal foul shots, the 2 foul shots (for the foul on Aliza before she fouled out), and they have the ball back. There's 50 seconds left. And both girls make their sets of free throws, so the game is now tied!
After they shoot the foul shots, their coach calls a timeout. So I approach referee "A" and I ask, "Am I allowed to stand up and talk to my team?" He goes, you know the answer to that. And I said, well I wasn't sure, I wasn't allowed to before. And I turn around to return to the huddle and talk, at which point, he apprarently gives me a technical foul? Which I don't hear or see. I can honestly say that was the conversation, my tone was not condescending in any way, and it was an honest question. He must have been over the top annoyed at this point? I'm not quite sure? Lesson learned, don't press the issue, I guess? I don't know! An explanation is never given!
So I'm in the middle of the timeout, talking to my team telling them what to do, and Referee "B" comes over and says, "Coach you need to leave." And I go, what? He's like, you need to leave. I don't realize I've been given the technical foul, and I'm totally confused, because I'm not quite sure what's happening? Referee "A" answered my question, didn't give me a warning, tell me to be quiet, NOTHING. So, since the "crowd's technical/bench technical" was given to me, add the most recent technical and that would be TWO technical fouls. Well TWO technicals = ejection! Wow.
I grab my stuff, and as I'm like leaving, all the fans/parents are standing up and clapping. At which point the referees are "motioning" for the fans to leave? I'm now standing in the corner speechless, not knowing WHERE this all even began? How did it get to this point? It would be easier for me to understand had I gone ballistic and like been acting crazy, but I wasn't, thus the reason I'm still confused!
A few minutes later, I see 3 police officers come in the door, and I'm like really? I'm going to be escorted out by POLICE OFFICERS are you KIDDING me? This is A SOPHOMORE GAME first of all, and SECOND OF ALL, what did I freaking do? Not sit on the bench? Like this is a nightmare right? I will be waking up sometime? No... I'm already awake! They escort one of our fans out I guess? They never came and talked to me. But police officers... really? Like I'm still baffled by the whole situation!
Now what to do? Our poor BYU intern Heather, is left all by herself, thrown right into it? Holli, who helped run practices for me over Christmas break was there, and I was like GO sit and help! So anyways, we played great defense, got a stop and rebounded the ball as time expired. OVERTIME! In the mean time, I'm still standing over in my little corner. Shock is the only word I can think of that described the moment. Maybe disbelief?
Before overtime starts I have Holli come over and talk to me, tell her some things to tell Heather and the girls, and one of the parents from the other team comes onto the court and is talking to the official and is POINTING TO ME, again thinking to myself, this has GOT TO BE A JOKE right? Referee "A" doesn't do anything. He just gives me a little look. And people yell at the parent to go sit down!
Overtime starts... it was back and forth the entire game. We ended up hitting some CLUTCH freethrows! FINALLY!!! It's about time! I'm like DYING over in the stupid corner! But freethrows are probably our biggest weakness and to see them finally make them, especially when it mattered was something POSITIVE to take from the whole experience! Long story made short :) or maybe not? We ended up winning the game 56-51. Holli and Heather and the girls did GREAT! I was way proud of the girls for coming through and fighting until the end, despite all the craziness that happened, and the situation they were put in. Hopefully, other lessons were actually learned from the game. That is the great thing about sports... learning life lessons! :) I KNOW one thing for sure, there will be NO more "bench" technical fouls for the remainder of the season!
I still am at a loss for words as to why things happened the way they did and how it all spun out of control so quickly? Questions that have yet to be answered: Why I had to stay sitting on the bench the entire time? Why I got the second technical foul, with no explanation or warning, especially after he responded to my question? And what set him off in the first place? Lesson learned for myself, unfortunately learned the hard way, even if you don't think you are doing anything wrong, control what you can control. I have no control over the refs, EVER! Even if they ban you to the bench, with no explanation, or REASON! "You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do." Valuable lessons were learned Friday night!
So that's the story... I'm still like embarassed by the events that unfolded! I can't believe it escalated to the point that it did, and I'm not sure why things happened the way they did? But everything happens for a reason and it provided valuable lessons if nothing else. Like I said before, I have no control over what the other guys does, I only have control over what I do! I appreciate everyone who offered their support afterwards. The many text messages, phone calls, and words of advice were comforting!
2 days ago